Redundancy three months on - the neurodivergent burnout we don't talk about...
"I've been made redundant" are words I thought would never come out of my mouth (again), at least not when things seemed to be going so well. I know people say, "It's not you that's redundant, it's the position" but we make a position what it becomes. And for many of us that job is a big part of our lives and identity. A job gives us a routine and purpose, and for that to be suddenly taken away is tough. So, whether it's framed as you being redundant or "the position" - we still feel intense rejection, isolation and often confusion or disassociation. And these feelings are often heightened if like me you have ADHD.
It's three months since I was made redundant. And it has been the most exhausting summer of my life. Last April I was the happiest I've ever been with the launch of my first book, "Neurodiversity in the Workplace," it was a dream, but the tiredness, exhaustion and fatigue of redundancy has meant I haven't been able to market it as well as I'd like. Trying to promote a book after being told an organisation doesn't need you anymore is a pretty hard task. If making workplaces inclusive is your thing, you can find out more about my book here.
They say redundancy is like grief. I don't know where I am in that cycle of grief but I thought I'd share what I've learned and experienced so far:
In the months following, all you're able to think about is the redundancy; that the organisation has already moved on and will be thinking about replacing you
Signing on is inaccessible, and isn't designed to offer support following redundancies or for anyone looking for professional jobs
Somedays the exhaustion means however well intentioned your to-do list, it just doesn't get done
Every job rejection, sets you back to the rejection you felt the day you were made redundant
You think about your former colleagues often, especially at times when you would have team meetings, and wonder what you would be doing if you were still there
You feel guilty about spending money or doing nice things for yourself. The concept of life-job searching balance goes out of the window
You feel more alone and isolated than ever before
You realise, yes it is so much easier to get a job while you are still in a job
Losing a sense of belonging
Those redundancy meetings are confusing places to be, I remember sitting on zoom, alone at home, hearing the words "we have decided to make your position redundant" - it felt a blur - like it wasn't real. I was asked if I had any questions. I looked blankly, I didn't have any questions because I hadn't processed everything I had just been told, so I said I needed time to think. I did need that time, except in that first week I was unable to think. It felt like a bad dream that I hoped I would wake up from at any moment. I never did wake up. This dream continues. People kept saying words, throwing dates at me about when my contract would end, and I couldn't think about any of it. My brain was trying to disassociate from reality because just a few weeks earlier I was down at the office celebrating my book with the team. It didn't seem real.
In that first meeting with HR I was told that the organisation is changing strategic direction, and that my role now wasn't needed for this new strategy. My ability as a writer was not valued to support the organisation strategically, the skills that were behind me being recruited back in 2022. I didn't have a job where I thought I belonged anymore. No matter how much business sense redundancy makes, and how good an argument for this case, it still hurts. It's still isolating. It will always be overwhelming. My team were only officially informed of the news two weeks after it was first broken to me, and this period (despite a select few knowing ahead of the official announcement) was the most isolating and lonely I have ever felt. It hits you. And feels very very personal. It may not be intended that way, but Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria doesn't take much notice of intentions. When my team did hear the news, my last day was the Friday of the same week. And that week seemed to vanish. Things moving at lightning speed isn't great when you need more time to process what is happening, and to organise your thoughts and feelings into an order that makes sense. All I could think about was that I had lost (very suddenly) where I thought I belonged, and now had a long road ahead of me trying to find another place to belong, alongside a line manager who really listened and cared. It had taken me 15 years to find that place, and so, I'm sure you can understand the fear I felt looking towards what seemed like a very disjointed and unstable future.
The redundancy impact on a neurodivergent brain
Redundancy obviously isn't great for anyone, but the process really isn't designed to consider a neurodivergent brain and how we might respond, process or take in this new information.
Your employer might be supportive, have processes and policies in place that focus on equity, diversity and inclusion; even holding regular team meetings to ensure they are responding to the needs of staff and their wellbeing, but when it comes to letting go of employees, it is another story. The whole redundancy process lacks real recognition of emotions or empathy. It also fails to recognise that everyone is different. We all process and deal with things differently. For example, at work I may need more time to process information or instructions. This time is often called a "reasonable adjustment", but can you have more time to get your head around redundancy? Of course not. The organisation cannot afford more time. Everything comes down to finances, and your wellbeing is bottom of the list of organisational priorities. If like me, you spend the first two weeks after finding out you are going to lose your job disassociating from reality, you are not able to have this time. You still have to return signed forms by the deadline. The final date you are given for your departure is final and non-negotiable because an organisation cannot "afford" more time, and there is nothing you can do about it. Can you see how deeply unfair and discriminatory for neurodivergent folk this process is? We spend a lot of time talking about differences, urging people to not only recognise difference, but celebrate difference. Research shows that organisations are up to 30% more productive when they include neurodivergent workers. Equity, diversity and inclusion policies encourage neurodivergent people to apply for jobs and disability confident schemes try to demonstrate an organisations understanding of inclusion and commitment to supporting people who think differently, yet we don't offer the same kind of support, empathy or understanding when making redundancies. During decision making processes about redundancies our differences don't matter and we are just a number. Tell me how this is fair.
The legal speak in redundancy letters and consultations feels very cold and harsh, and people or employees are treated like commodities that can just be disposed of when they no longer suit the business needs. And that's why the system needs to change. When I was made redundant an employer didn't have to legally give you redundancy pay if you've been there less than two years, however I know the new government are now trying to change the rights we have from the first day of work. It's too late for me but I hope this benefits other people, to have a tiny bit of compassion and breathing space, when job loss is one of the biggest and most stressful life events we will go through (the other four being death of a loved one, moving house, divorce and major injury or illness.)
No matter how many years of service we've spent in an organisation, people still have to get back on their feet, they still have bills to pay, food to buy and they may need, as I've discovered, some time to process before tackling mountains of job applications. It's a bereavement. And on losing a job in this way, there should be time to grieve. Except we don't get that - we are forced into applying for the next opportunity, staying up all night preparing presentations for interviews and updating portfolios or CV's - and this is mostly at the expense of our mental health, and is now leading me in the direction of burnout. Neurodivergent people are more likely to experience burnout at some time in their lives, with a system (especially when going through job loss) that fuels the fire until there is no fuel left to keep the candle burning anymore.
My ADHD means that I experience an intense fear of rejection or failure otherwise known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or RSD. And when it does strike it feels very very real. As I'm sure you can understand, redundancy for me has triggered feelings of rejection and memories of past workplace trauma. Many people can begin to re-live memories of other periods of their life when they felt rejected, whether this is bullying, relationships, exams or not being picked in PE at school. And this can make dealing with the immediate events and impact of redundancy even more challenging, overwhelming and draining.
On being told you're redundant you believe you aren't good enough, that no one would ever want you again and that this has happened because you have failed. A rhetoric a lot of neurodivergent people have heard throughout their lives; "you can't do that", "you'll struggle with this", "let me do this thing for you," - constantly having our abilities judged on a diagnosis. Everything is internalised. And RSD magnifies these emotions. A small set back for one person, could seem like the end of the world for me. Every time I did my PDP and was waiting for feedback, a tiny voice somewhere in me is wondering if this is the time I would be told I'm not good enough and need to leave. I was scared of failure and letting people down. As my notice period was coming to an end I cried in most of my 1:1's with my line manager, I was terrified of the unknown and uncertainty that was to come, and despite feeling very supported and cared for by my line manager, I still felt that I really was not wanted, and was not good enough to be there. When you've dealt with years of carefully building up self esteem and confidence, to have it all broken down again in one redundancy meeting, can feel like your once stable world has turned into a ship out in stormy seas. I hope you can imagine the real impact redundancy can have on neurodivergent folk, and understand that it's about time we show those facing redundancy a bit of compassion and care. I haven't slept properly for months, which means that my ADHD medication isn't as affective, and so my RSD magnifies. "It's not about you" or "It'll be okay in the end" really won't reassure me during an RSD cycle.
Some tips for employers to consider for neurodivergent folk when making redundancies
Recognise individual needs while following the process
I understand there is a legal process to follow, but this legal process doesn't mean you should neglect all of your inclusion principles and values when supporting disabled/neurodivergent employees, or others who face disadvantages in the workplace. These disadvantages will still be there during a redundancy, and if anything the impact is compounded more. Just as you would when someone is starting a new job, think about what you can do to make the process easier for the individual, and consider what senior management can put in place to support during the transition.
Allow more time
Unless your company is going into liquidation, you can always make adjustments to outgoings to allow this time, even if this means cancelling the office Waitrose order for a couple of months. As I mentioned earlier, more time is crucial to effectively process, understand and respond to difficult news, especially when you're neurodivergent, and will essentially mean ND people are included and are on a level playing field alongside those also facing redundancies who do not have difficulties processing information.
Offer redundancy pay
This is hopefully changing with first day of work benefits, but redundancy pay whatever someone's length of service just makes sense. It's the least you can do when someone if going through one of the most stressful times of their life.
Give the option of another colleague being in HR meetings if needed
This is especially important for people who disassociate during or after these meetings, or struggle to understand everything that is being said. Redundancy trauma means it's common for us to blank out crucial information. The option of having another colleague there with me would have made a huge difference, it doesn't even have to be a line manager, just someone who can take in information you may forget, and relay it back to you to help with processing next steps.
Treat all redundancies the same
It isn't hard to find out the support or benefits former colleagues had when they were made redundant. There should be a clear policy that sets out what you provide as an organisation, both financially and in terms of support. It shouldn't need a manager in the Senior Management Team to fight for support for one colleague, but then for another employee a few months later to not get the same support because they do not have a manager with the power to push for change. A clear redundancy policy will also make it easier for people to understand the process and prepare for what will happen next, alongside better equipping line managers to support people.
Prioritise a proper closure
This is so so important, and good endings are vital to reduce the impact of trauma. I felt that my redundancy was very rushed, with no opportunity to see colleagues face to face before I left as the majority of our work was done online. This for me, meant I didn't get the closure I would have liked, so that I was able to move on from where I believed I belonged. One day I got up to sit at my desk with a full work diary, and the next day I didn't.
In part two I will share more on navigating the benefits system following redundancy, and explore if it is possible to prioritise psychological safety and maintain a job hunt - life balance when you are unemployed.
In the meantime, if you'd like to support me by buying my book 'Neurodiversity in the Workplace" or booking me to speak about neurodivergent inclusion at work, it will be appreciated now more than ever.
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